He has that thing where they hang SUPER low
Ewww!! Elephantitis
I think I just saw the travelocity gnome in leather chaps.
he was dropping me off and i told him i had to go to the bathroom and i leaned into kiss him and he asked how i went to the bathroom with a tampon up there... he was amazed that their was a third hole...and wanted me to show him where it was
Everytime I think about NYE, my gag reflex kicks in.
She made Precious look like a solid 6.5.
guy at the corner shop gets out a bottle of tequilla and a pack of malboro light whenever he sees me through the door. makes me feel loved and cared for
I feel I need to conquer him. He's six ft eight and 265lbs. Its like the mount Everest of sex.
So the bros are yelling at another bro to get that dildo off the roof. And there is indeed a dildo looking object on the roof.
Post walk of shame: realized the underwear I put on when I left was another girl's underwear.... woof
Jesus these cramps...it's like every potential fetus I swallowed last night is personally punching me in the uterus
He told me the hickey on the side if his neck was actually a "bruise" from hitting a bird on his motorcycle. I'm not sure what's more impressive, the fact people believed him due to the size of the mark or the fact you gave it to him.
well I've taken an Uber to my weed dealers twice in the past 2 weeks so it's going well since I sold my car
Any man who can do squats while fucking you is a man worth keeping.
Your Vodka Saturday privileges have been reduced to Beer until you go a full month without losing an article of clothing.
He's honking my boob in his sleep
It's innocent and endearing in some way
Randomize
