Just saw my boss eat a banana in three bites.
I bet Jafar would keep his hat on during
some girl just asked me how to spell unconscious. I really want to know what she was texting.
5 am is for sleeping. Or getting railed on by a stranger. But never for fundraising. Get real.
He was in a gay KY jelly commercial. Jew male model. Reasons not to sleep with him. Go.
Good call on the strip club last night. Everytime i smell some flowery candle or air freshener I get transported back to having my face firmly planted in Riah and Desire's tits.
You're welcome.
one of the RAs is here. he told me his name is optimus prime and then took his shirt off and fell down
I'm just going to eat until there's an actual reason why he wouldn't want to fuck me.
Hey guy that stepped on my foot, don't slap my ass to apologize.
I need to pay that drinking in public ticket, but I also really want to get a spray tan next week... so priorities.
can we for just one second remember that I played with a homeless man's rat at st marks?
Dude she tried to bite my face off last night, literally. I have never actually felt like a piece of meat until that point in life...
Seriously. All I want right now is a 40 with a nipple on it, and a nap
This is the third time I have overheard parents tell their children "don't be that girl" in reference to me. I'm either doing something horribly wrong or amazingly right
Yup we found her. The bouncer was carrying her out
Randomize
