That poor girl was naked and had to be at a job interview in an hour
i was looking up hair salons in ithaca for the wedding and one is a hair salon/ sake bar! you can have sake or champagne while you get your hair done!
question, how would one sake-bomb while getting hair done without getting a horrible haircut?
i think ur clone was at the club last week. she slapped some tall girl in the face who tried to steal her spot on the podium. i dont know if ur like her, but she seemd like a ninja badass with superpowers
so looking at the guys i've dated i feel my vag is a halfway house
yup, got lost on my way to the final. maybe i should have gone to this class all semester
I pissed myself at the bar so I threw away my wet underwear and kept partying... you act you've never done that before
Most adult booty call ever. Ha. We got down to business and still got to watch the colbert report.
I was scared I had HIV after last time so I'm not gonna do it again
But he was really hot
Glad you don't have HIV
I sobered up and saw I was with the fat one and you had left laughing with the hot one. You're a terrible wingman, but an excellent manipulator
I walk in and my roomie is fucking her bf while wearing lingerie and minnie mouse ears. Right in the childhood.
He sent me a picture of his dick saying "your throne my lady" for my birthday. He knows the way to my heart.
He offered to dress his dick up as Charlie Chaplin to cheer me up.
Keep him.
i found you laying on the floor staring at the ceiling and you kept muttering "why" in various inflections.
Probably shouldn't be looking at memes at my grandmother's funeral
I'm sorry, but if I hear stories of you getting fingered in the ass, and selling weed, you are not coming to my party.
Randomize
