she said her black crocs were her 'dress up crocs'
So, during a 20 minute shower I spent 19 minutes spinning in circles and 1 minute licking the wall, and it was better than sex. I can't wait to do X again.
or how I got to mom's but there is vomit on my shoes. I never thought i'd be recapping with her.
You were hanging upside down on the subway with your feet in the stirrup handle bars. the children were amused.
I'm gonna make a mold of your dick so I can make popsicles
Kristy just reminded me that I have a bottle of champagne to lick off your ass hole...... This is by way of saying that we have plans on Friday.
I believe in weed hangovers. To say the least.
I fucked in the bathroom while everyone listened and banged my dick against a table shouting "order in the court"
you guys have a strange definition of the word fun. I would have said dangerous, terrifying, or life-threatening. of course, bowling can now be described the same way.
it'll be like the notebook except for with way more of my penis
Pretty sure I just got the ok to have a one night stand in Maui...from mom. I'd say that's a win in my book.
A guy caught me talking to a sock today in the Laundry room if it makes you feel any better
Sadly that does. Why...where you talking to a sock
Bc I didn't know him and I asked him where he came from and why he was hanging out with my thongs
I've just realized that today's rations have consisted of turkey bacon and jack Daniels.
you can't just call dibs on my vagina bro.
What better than a girl who loves jager, sexts like a champ and is down for t-bell at any hours of the night? oh wait, NOTHING.
Randomize
