Pretty girls always come out on top. Or bottom. Whatever. Point is we come out with their boyfriends.
Once I saw his penis, I knew I made the right choice
Tell me you didn't really piss in the hookah.
It's fine...I've done worse things to better people.
I'm in Starbucks carrying the boxes wine and the hubcap. So many judging looks.
Bro, did you watch that scooby doo porn I sent to you?
That UFC fighter fucked me so hard I have what can only be described as a "cuntcussion"
You are the tramp this city needs, but not the one it deserves.
I will give you the couch, a small portion of the fridge, and plenty of beer.
Got my future figured out. I'm oddly comforted. Thanks, bro.
I just found a piece of squished oatmeal cream pie in my armpit. So very sad.
No it's like. I don't respect you. And I think you're a terrible person but. I still wanna bone it out.
All I've done today is nap, eat candy and get off from my vibrator. I didn't know it was possible to be THIS single.
Also, you think turning 23 is bad, I just ran into the guy that gave my chlymidia
the fact that I've been his fuck buddy for a year, and I'm pregnant isn't bothering me. the fact that he didn't tell me about his girlfriend does.
We’ve discussed sex and dinner. Like chicken nuggets while doing it doggie and watching tv.
Randomize
