But, I don't have the body of a porn star, so nobody would hire me. Unless they're doing like a trip to the safari and they need an albino rhino
State Street has never looked so beautiful than during my walk of shame.
I'm sorry I didn't make it out, I got distracted by sparkley boobies.
I thought I broke my iPhone. I was almost as depressed as the day I broke my vibrator.
is it bad i banged a 25yr kindergarten teacher last night?
No thats like a top 10
We found her naked passed out on the bathroom floor. She didn't even make it to the shower. She was clutching the bathroom rug.
I can't believe you broke a Paula dean wooden spoon over my ass
I've never heard of anyone celebrating the holidays with a fuck buddies family before.
....I'll be expecting my trophy when I return.
Agree to hang out with him and then take a gigantic shit right on him. Or if youve forgiven him for being a fucker maybe make out with him.
He puked in the middle of it and I still wasn't disappointed.
Me my naked body. You bring the paints. I expect to be a panther by game time Sunday.
What do I get.
Panthers win you get to fuck the paint off me.
OH MY GOD did i pee on you?!
And speaking of good acting I may have a sex tape now
I'm glad you found someone that both loves you and is cool doing coke off your tits. Proud of you.
I would fuck him just for his dog
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