she is the female version of PC from the mac and pc commercials..i'll still hit tho
Improvement. She went from pretending she was the soccer ball in the world cup games and it hurt when they kicked her to passed out on the floor.
As hard as i've been partying lately their gonna have to revoke my organ donor status
just remembered spooning on the cardboard and confessing to each other we had the spins.
So I know we're not talking about this anymore buuuuuut I left heel marks on the wall.
Nursing home in NJ just got busted for prostitution and drugs...dropping off my deposit tomorrow
We decided to keep having sex while I ordered the pizza. I wanted extra pepperoooooooooooooni.
You were petting your bowl of cocoa puffs and shushing it softly while staring at the mirror
jusy threw up in the airport bathroom. I am no longer thankful for fireball.
Margaritas just taste better when they're bigger than your head
I'll never lecture you, go get that dick baby girl make momma proud,I didn't raise no quitter
I could tell my life story through kermit memes
How are you and your magical vagina doing today?
He tried to grab your ass, but he grabbed my hand cause I grabbed your ass first. I saved your ass..literally. Your welcome.
I should have known when she mixed malibu and V8. It smelled just like tanning oil and when she drank it she said "Oh well, not the first time."
Randomize
