Fucking hipsters really piss me off man. They are just such punk as bitches, all of them. Oh, and fuck Ed Hardy too.
Don't know whats worst me sharding on her a bit or her believing me when i told her she did it...
Since my computer broke, i've been masterbating to girls gone wild. I feel like i'm in the 90's.
So I just googled the ten commandments... Were fucked.
i officially have more pictures of his dick than pictures of us together
Drunk roommate walked in on us and asked if we wanted to go eat a sandwich with her in the bathroom.
My costume is made up of 4 inch heels and a firefighter costume I'm borrowing from the dramatic play area of my Pre-K classroom. I told you I could still be slutty on a teacher's salary.
The rest of us are chipping in to soundproof your bedroom. This is getting ridiculous.
Direct quote from her that tipped me off I was getting some: "I want to jump on his shoulders and wrap my legs around his face"
So I found out me and this guy I was drinking beer with tonight both got lactated on by the same stripper. We're milk brothers.
Balls deep in an Orange is the New Black marathon. Bring food and drugs.
If a handjob meant commitment I would literally touch zero dicks
Heeyy... sorry I got so drunk. You probably don't ever want to see me again. Thank you for dealing with me when I tried to jump over the deli counter for some mayonnaise.
it's 1:30pm and i'm eating cheese while i sext. i need hobbies
Got everyone out of my house, somehow managed to put all my lawn furniture back, puked in my sink, and cleaned it up all while black out drunk before my parents came home. Successful night.
Randomize
