Then we started crawling around on the floor because we couldn't get up so decided to be tigers instead. Gotta love power hour.
I gave them both handjobs at the same time. Felt like I was skiing
There's a guy at this party taking all the unfinised beers and pouring them into a pitcher so he can drink them tomorrow.
My history teacher just took his shirt off cuz the classroom was to hot. And then he invited us all to join him.
what has two thumbs and is going to bang you boss on monday?
I will never swim in a flooded basement again..
I can't wait till you move in so I can stop drinking alone.
it's a Wednesday?
:)
No, we talked about it. They're cool with me living here as long as I sleep with them both.
You're a rent hooker.
how was it?
he was petting the bushes because they were "napkins"
During breaking dawn, he leaned over and asked me why she would have to worry about her period since she essentially just married a walking super-absorbant tampon... It was the best way to ruin those movies for me.
I've been drunk in my life. But I've never been "crying in 5 Guys at 1 in the afternoon" drunk
I fell asleep on the floor again. i dont want help, just a pillow. its kind of nice down here.
Bacardi 151 is like a past nightmare I'm still curious about
I remember walking into a bathroom stall that had a couple fucking in it and giving them a condom and a thumbs up and then leaving
And I hope you're not misinterpreting us fucking as me trying to win you back. The sex is good and girls have needs.
Randomize
