omg he said he wants to insert his penis into my vagnia what do i say
tell him to stop quoting family guy
you know it is a bad morning when you forget to brush your teeth and eat old gas x in your car because its minty...
I may or may not have just visibly given him head in front of three young children and their mom. They all looked mortified.
I think we should make a list of challenges so that when stuff like that happens, we can check it off. Like a scavenger hunt for hoes.
just customized my debit card w a pic of me ralphing over the toilet. figure it'll give the bar keep a good cut off est and for shits n giggles when buying my handles at the liqour store
She sucked my dick when I had a concussion. It was the coolest feeling ever but the doctor said it was a bad idea. He's obviously gay.
"I never want to have to say, 'Please don't squirt me with your breast milk' again.
he's from indiana, of course he's clueless about "g-spots"
Just stuffed an entire cupcake in my mouth after finishing third glass of wine. Valentines day is pretty much going how i expected it.
there is nothing like a happy birthday present when you wake up with a bow on your vagina.
You made me pull over because you thought a leaf was a twenty rolling across the road.
As a Chick-Fil-A employee, I think you'd appreciate the visual of me almost accidentally pulling out my wallet with a thong hooked on it as I payed for my waffle fries just now.
it's just weird to think of you as a teacher since ive seen you throw up raspberry bacardi in my parents house
I now have a other guy willing to drive 3 hours for my vagina. At my next gyno appointment I'm asking her if there's cocaine in there.
I don't know where you went, but if you're anywhere near the liquor, pour me another drink
If you think that liquor is the way to shower sex then you're right.
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