the bus pole looks like a man who feels guiltyty about something
Remember when I use to call my dick 'the pendulum'
wtf?
It is now the artist formerly known as 'insideyourgirlfriend'
I am spending my child support on dildos
Everybody was literally kung fu fighting
Last night I ate parmesan cheese straight out of the container while watching Chelsea Lately. Look at what happens to me when you leave.
he's measuring my pool to see how much jello powder he needs. He got paid today.
Ive waited a long time for a girl with prescriptions like yours.
1st rule of birth control pills: do not stop taking birth control pills. 2nd rule of birth control pills: do NOT STOP taking birth control pills.
I'd return your shirt, but it got all wet from lying on the bathroom floor while I was in the shower with Justin's roommate...
Keep it.
Her boobs take up a lot of room so God had to skimp on the brains
I found him on the floor in the kitchen eating cheese and tomato. I mean a block of cheese and whole tomatoes, he was alternating. Thats why your cheese has teeth marks.
A place where it's acceptable to show body parts is not a good place for me to be.
I was just going for a one night stand and now I'm at breakfast with his entire family.
One minute I'm going home the next I'm getting railed on the back 9.
Just had a threesome for the second time in my life. I don;t even enjoy threesomes. Too much effort.
HOW DO THESE THINGS KEEP HAPPENING TO YOU?
Randomize
