There comes a time in every man's life where he has to shit in a catbox to prove a point.
I decided that not getting a job after college is gods way of telling me I will make a great housewife
Also I just saw on facebook your sister is taking pole dancing lessons. Just a heads up.
She swung at the pinata with crutches
Their was just 7 people standing outside eating a costco chicken, definitley at the right party
I feel miserable and there's nutella all over my phone
it's a simple rule - pass out shirtless on the couch, become an airsoft target.
We haven't even scratched the surface on the damage we could do. Just saying
Its like he woke the dragon, and the dragon is hungry for a good dick.
I do NOT want to date a man who has no interest in going to a kangaroo farm
Because 9 pm Thursday you drink a loco cause you just wanna get drunk and have a good time with your friends. Then you wake up on Tuesday and you've had 17 locos and you're pregnant, lying on the side of the road, 3 states over. THAT'S why we don't have only locos parties.
We're keeping you on a leash this Saint Patrick's Day
you said "it's karaoke night" and tried to use my dick as a microphone
Just an fyi, you also tried to wrangle a peacock last night.
I was singing Colors of the Wind and swigging vodka and still felt like more of an adult.
Randomize
