Yeah...you.wanna.hang.out.tomorrow?My.space.button.is.broken.
I wish i was in the wii world.
I woke up at 1pm, looked in the mirror and fist pumped...I might still be drunk
Dudes got a Polo tattoo. I don't care if he has a yacht I can't handle that level of gay.
All I know is that it's pretty damn mean to put a glass wall in a bar.
All I'm saying is that whoever owned the wheelchair clearly didn't need it or they wouldn't have been able to leave it there
Do you think the guy at the front desk was watching us last night? Although we were in a public pool, therefore our tits were free game.
Hint of advice dont get with minor league baseball players, you can google their stats but not their stds.
also bought condoms to give away to people who look like they're about to make a bad halloween decision. I'm like a fairy.
He told me my outfit made me look like a twelve year old then proceeded with "but you don't look like a whore"
my roommate would be appalled if she knew how many times i've peed in the kitchen sink
It's been two whole weeks and I haven't missed a single class. I deserve 69 blunts.
Sorry I banged your sister. But in my defense you ain't fucked me in a month. In fact I should get a medal for keeping it in your family.
Bleach your asshole, I'm on my way.
Who is this?!?!
OMG OMG OMG Ive hit the penis jackpot
It seriously took everything in my power not to sleep with him
What did it come out and serenade you? Lol
It sang to me in the dark. It was magical
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