I dinstinctly remember making out to "I believe I can fly" and waving my arms like a bird to the beat.
Its so akward after he cums on my face. like usually the porn just ends
Soooo, if his status went from married to single and he deleted all the pictures of his kids does that mean he's up for dibbs?
thats the coolest thing thats happened to my vagina since i dated that guy from portugal.
Just found cake in my bra, debating if I should eat it
I feel like a squirrel prepping for the winter on dollar beer nights.
That last minute feeling of hesitation on whether I should bring my health card to the bar usually means I'm in for a good night.
Totally forgot we howled at the full moon last night... It's safe to say Tuesday Boozeday is my new favorite day of the week
that is terrible, if I can't drink Gatorade when I'm hungover I don't wanna live in this world. that's like denying wild rams to run free in the wild and frolic
All the drunken hookups over the last year are self destructing, at least something is keeping nursing school interesting
My eczema on my back is flaring up so he rubbed coconut oil on it while we were boning down. If that's not a picture of 8 years married I dunno what is.
In tonight's episode of Travis' Fucked up Sex Life, Travis breaks into a building at Tulane to have sex with an attractive Asian man.
I just made my dating life into my own game show. would you like to meet the contestants? (photos not included)
come pick your gf up from my house. she's sitting in the fridge and hissing at the cat to let her eat the potatoes. btw i dont have a cat
Is it weird that I shop for lingerie by thinking if it will look good on both me and your floor?
No. Not at all.
Randomize
