HIV tests are more positive than that guy
i just watched a video of two girls fucking with a banana and i thought of you.
i hate you
He walked me home last night across campus while i fed him pasta out of a solo cup at 3 am.
i'm calling it girls night to make myself feel better but lets be real.....i wasn't going to get any guys tonight regardless
People are yelling about how much they want you here.
I'm going to change, vomit up my mexican food to save the trouble later, and then come meet you. Thrilled.
God I feel like the rain man of hangovers.
Okay I know I said I was going to quit drinking for a while but apparently pumpkin pie flavored vodka is a thing and I will not rest until I have some.
He came over hammered at four in the morning with roses trying to get me back when my new fling opened the door he just stood there crying for 40mins even after we closed the door
Martha Stewart has had a one night stand and is unsure if she's had a threesome. I no longer feel slutty.
my nose is crying tears of wow.
That's pretty intense. There aren't many people I would pick over a burrito
I'm drunk doing an ab workout. I can only hope I make it to bed tonight.
I was just tongue fucked into oblivion.
I have so much to do, no motivation, and Harry Potter is on. You KNOW whats taking priority in my life right now
maybe you should have closed the porn before you gave the professor your computer to hook up to the projector?
Randomize
