I fucked the bump it out of her hair. just had to let everyone know.
they are using this drunk girl like a spin the bottle in the hot tub, whoever she lands on she makes out with.
You're asking the wrong person. I was drunk on nyquil and jager.
I don't really know I'm just giving her a key to get back in and the "don't get pregnant speech" and leaving it at that.
I feel like a fucked a broomstick last night. You get a gold star.
If her puking on your pool table is her sign of a good night, it's time to intervene.
I puked in my fridge last night while I was trying to get water
He pulled a condom out of his satchel and i questioned my entire life.
No. I heard a cover of "my heart will go on". This is not sanity.
FIND ME A DICK TO RIDE THAT HOPEFULLY IS ATTACHED TO A CUTE PERSON AND NICE PERSONALITY
CHALLENGE ACCEPTED. Is it okay if I only get 2 out of 3?
The D is nonnegotable.
I just sent an "I'm sorry I forged a prescription in your name" email. It was one of the more awkward things I've done this week.
I told him the only reason I'd sleep with him is if we have a threesome because I'll need moral support
It was a good dick. I give credit where credit is due. A good dick deserves praise.
You kept yelling stranger danger at Nick because he was talking to that girl you didn't like. Your not invited ever again.
Fuck my life... Im so horny Im gonna take it out on this sandwich
Randomize
