Fucking love it maybe bedazzle some baby seals? Make them cuter? Who would club a bedazzled baby seal? Only a fucking monster.
hey in girl talk does "want to come over tonight and have some beers with me?" mean i want wiener?
hickory dickory dock, please dont tell me about your cock
I just peed on my pajamas. Its gonna be a long night. Don't forget the cookies.
There are many reasons why he shouldn't come over. And each one is longer than his penis.
A picture just appeared on facebook. I am puking in the toilet, you are next to me puking in the sink. I think we have our christmas card.
He just "revenge puked" on her kid. I think we'll be leaving soon.
We're already drunk. 4 hours to go still. And there's a bear advisory. TOP WEEKEND.
He just showed up with a bottle of wild turkey a half a can of coke and some marshmallows yelling "gobble gobble bitches" my roommates hate my cousin
There's a girl in class eating a pumpkin pie. Like a whole pie straight from the pan with a fork.
You could see the bone sticking out of his shin and he insisted he was "just gunna walk it off"
Hiking for a first date sounded like a good idea in theory because there was absolutely no possibility of me blacking out. In practice, I'd rather black out than go through what I just went through.
Dude I may be rolling but there's no way I can make up a 12 ft tall giant green man waving to me right now
False alarm, security just told me it's a radio tower
I jerked off 12 hours ago exactly. I owe it to my penis to get laid.
My vagina likes him more than I do, but I’m going to follow her lead and see what happens
Randomize
