just found out there is no tactful way to ask your girlfriend to wax her stache. no matter what a google search would have you believe.
I just dont think you can meet a stranger after youve heard them cum through the walls though
I have a feeling that watching gay porn with you was the reason I was dancing in a hurricane of floating dicks in my dream last night.
i'm just sitting here going through her tagged pics, covering up different parts of her face to try and figure out exactly what it is that makes her so ugly.
Also, I threw up on the playground again. I've honestly had more fun there this past summer than I did in my entire childhood.
I think I found out what we're going be for Halloween....Alcohol poisoning victims.
Gosh, I don't even have that. Let alone someone to tie me up and whip me with Twizzlers.
I told her shower beers are even better when you have someone in there with you and she said she's been looking for a new drinking buddy. It's a goooooo
I'm pretty sure that our Lady and The Tramp Red Vine moment was the farthest I got last night
So somehow today's lecture on the immune system turned into me having to stand up and explain female ejaculation to the class.
We told you to act sober so to prepare yourself you started doing squats and stretching then you slapped yourself and walked in
if wiping your ass w an envelope isnt the definition of hitting "financial rock bottom " then nothing is!
Is it totally acceptable to fuck a co-worker even though we don't speak the same language?
Why do you even have to ask me that question
Ever get that feeling that you're the back up booty call and half way through securing the fake date excuse to try to get in your pants, the guy hears back from the original booty call and drops the conversation with no explanation?
Imp drunk. It'd free popcorn tuedday I love life.
Randomize
