The Worst (noun)- 1. Getting up at 6am after a night of drinking. 2. Wearing a Peter Rabbit costume.
I just got really nervous and swallowed all of my birth control
There are rumors he has a square penis....ill do anything though....
If i come home from court on friday.. i'm definitely doing something illegal.
He kept spanking me and talking about biomedical science.
Aw, you fucked a pre-med? you're moving up in the world!
She literally crushed my balls between her butt cheeks. It was both the greatest and worst thing ever. Dancers are awesome.
I plan on gettn treatment center drunk
The girl behind me in psych just tapped me on my shoulder to tell me there was a condom wrapper in my hood.
I was drunk while I accepted my job offer. Here's to growing up.
Did I leave the house with out a shirt or socks?
Yea, you said you didn't need them cause she was going to take them off anyways and that it would "save time".
Who gets call-your-ex-from-4-years-ago drunk on a Thursday??
I went out with a plan. I came home with a Brian. THIS WAS NOT PART OF THE PLAN.
Definitely went down on him last night while he was wearing a cape. He randomly kept swirling it around me and "revealing me" in the mirror like a magic trick. I'm not even a little upset, it's fun fucking younger guys.
I drove them away with my sparkling personality and LOTR references.
random boy in my bed. last night wasnt a dream. fuck.
Randomize
