I just got called an ass for saying no thanks to a Greenpeace solicitor. I don't want the whales to die but I do want Greenpeace to fail. Conundrum.
why would she put his p in her m after it was in her a? that's gross
its gross she let him put his p in her a nevermind his p in her m after p in her v. cleaning up is necessary
i put my m on your v after my p was in your v. no big deal
its amazing how hard it is to tell vomit from stuffing the day after
Hold on im havin a staring contest with my cat
Sex and the city 2 and twilight getting released in the same month. God hates mankind.
Do ex girlfriends even count for summer sexcapades. Seems like the damage had already been done
Victory lap
Made fish tank punch. It's like trash can punch but in a fish tank. Also, my dad saw a picture I uploaded on Facebook and called me a pussy for only making 10 gallons.
We could be the people that go there! Shuffleboard n shit. Meet strippers.
You had me at shuffleboard and strippers
He's just so adorable. And I don't want to fuck someone who's adorable.
Ok well i was gonna say you can only borrow my fog machine if you will use it to emerge from your room in a cloud of smoke after having sex with sarah, so yeah we're good
I appreciate that you take the time to fix your typos even while masturbating
I feel like you can't break up with someone on 420. It's against stoner code
All I've had to eat today are potatoes...and by that I mean vodka and chips
You know something is wrong with your lifestyle when you have to clean easy Mac cheese powder off of your scale
at least it's not cocaine like last time
I got paid to fuck my boss for lunch. My job is better than yours.
Randomize
