i woke up at 5 am and found myself wrapped in christmas lights that were plugged into the wall.
They past out watching a re-run of the 1984 presidential debate on cspan
I should show up to the gym drunk more often. I felt like i really motivated all the fat people.
I HAVE A PRESENT FOR YOU AND ITS NOT MY VAGINA
At least he's enough of a gentleman to not make me do the walk of shame dressed as Santa.
In either case, seeing now as it's basically two couples, unless we're planning to have a good old fashion orgy I think this isn't going to work out so well.
So I went to daintily fall onto my bed like I was in a hotel commercial and I completely missed my matress and landed on my floor. Just thought u should know.
The fact that he said "there's nothing wrong with being a raging drunk, just ask my mother." has me thinking that I have no positive role-models among my friends.
no, I didn't go in the end. Too hungover and hot, plus Star Wars is on so obviously I'm having a naked day.
my friend was passed out in the bathroom so I threw up in the coffee maker, not the pot the water reservoir that kind of drunk.
Someone should make a valentines day card that says "I like the way you continuously consume thc with no concept of a limit other than drug supply" Because I'd send that to you.
I'm at the level of despair that only Panda Express can fix
How do you clean puke off a stuffed bear?
I was christened with Fireball shots by some guy at the bar. I'm practically Jesus now.
yes we're having sex but I'm texting you...so what does that tell you?
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