Whore.
I was being facetious
Don't try to hide behind big words.
Best. Four. Twenty. Ever.
2nd night home for break and we had to call the fire department to keep the house from burning down. At this rate I'll be lucky to see you next semester.
Turns out getting tied up to two door handles and forced to repeatedly cum is actually a really good ab workout.
I am VERY upset that you called my fiesta a waste of time.
my goal was to make out with as many people dressed as batman as possible. I have my priorities.
I ended up at these random girls' house they are smoking weed out of a gun
When you can pee with one hand accurately while texting, you drink too much.
Batteries died. I don't care that you're studying for the bar. Come over. Bring the law books and study after. I'll even make coffee.
I'm pretty sure that our Lady and The Tramp Red Vine moment was the farthest I got last night
We're fucking and Lee Greenwood God Bless the USA comes on and he came. It was the most Roll Tide America moment of my life.
That is romantic
Well sometimes you just gotta put your dicks and pizzas together to show you care
My moral compass cannot be waived by two measly bloody Mary's
My potted cactus died. I am literally less nurturing than the desert.
Im selling my dirty underwear to pay for that cruise. NO JUDGEMENT . I love you lol ❤❤ also dont tell anyone
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