Dear man in the lobby please go play whith yourself elsewhere
and thats how i got kicked in the balls by micky mouse
well i did feel guilty about it. until i saw how hot the guy was the next day. now, nothing but pride.
my vagina has been out of service for wayy too long... this semester needs to start like right now
Solid teamwork gives us a good shout of both bringing home trophy cougs
There is nothing more embarrassing than your birth control alarm going off while in a meeting with your boss and they tell you to take it.
My boyfriend just asked what time I was coming over. As soon as my old BF unchains me. I think he ran away.
So like, boobs.
are you really going to start every conversation like that?
Chasing my kid around a 30' jungle gym was not how I envisioned spending the day off work to recover from a vasectomy.
They need to eat meat, go down on me the first time, every time, and know how to pull my hair. And there's a height requirement for this ride
Weddings might be fun but they are not getting fucked in the wilderness fun.
Did you really have to freak out and get up half way through to put the cat in the closet?
...
we've dated a week and made out twice. he is taking it slow. but his body is stupid sexy. just want him to stop respecting me and fuck me like a gutter slut. respect me later im not getting younger.
there is such a gross feeling of satisfaction when the married guy i used to hook up with likes my facebook status.
when i saw him today i think my vagina did the equivalent of a stomach growl... its been to long
Randomize
