Do you remember last night at all? Be honest
I need to look at the pictures on my camera to fill in the gaps.
I guess there's some 16 and under softball tournament and they all are at my work. what is a 21 year old to do?
The responsible thing...show them the break room.
Do they fuck in the end of "Lady and the Tramp" or am i just wasting my time
halfway through eating me out he goes 'oh that reminds me i have to buy fish for good friday'
my dealer just handed me my weed in a pink easter egg
I passed out on the floor of a truck stop. Drinking binge 2011 is now over.
bark. im thoroughly looking forward to kegs and eggs. next weekend should be pancakes and pinnical, then cereal and seagrams and then whiskey and waffles.
I'm not sure which is more depressing, the fact that the hospital is making me put together a living will before surgery, or that all i'll be leaving behind is 25k in student loan debt
Just took an adderall with a shot of tequila while doing my makeup in the parking lot at work before I go in. I'm also late. They're so lucky to have me.
I worked hard to give you that boner. No one else should get to enjoy it!
My house smells like bleach. Also, I do not feel bad about all the stuff I stole from the hospital while I was there.
Everyone's going out for thirsty Thursday and I'm just like. Cool. Enjoy yourself. I'm gonna eat an entire pizza and watch King of Queens reruns.
All this studying of HIV makes me want to have sex with you.
i also remember watching someone vomit off a balcony which was kind of grim
Sorry about my sloppy drunk texts. I'm not sure talking about banging a near dead Jimmy Stewart was my finest moment
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