Viking lives by an ancient code of honor that we do not understand.
What code could that possibly be? Bothering the fucking shit out of people while being physically repulsive?
I just called a child with a Yankees jersey a jerkoff. so much for a friendly day @ the ballpark
ha so i just found a picture of you eating paper towels and many of Laura freaking out from it.
Is it wrong of me that I wish I could be a midget for a day so I can give head standing up?
he took his pants off right in front of me then just stood there so i went for his boxers and he said he was waiting till marriage
I sent out a mass text that said "margaritas for Jesus?" and nobody responded, worst Easter ever.
Correct me if I'm wrong but the photo album titles "cause I've been drankin" and "baby jessica" should not belong to the same person.
Just found out my ex boss was running a whore house in the bar. Time to remove her as a reference?
I want to break up with him.....but he has a george forman grill...like I need that
There was no eligible dick at the ER. I'm pissed. Looks like "Searching for Strange at the Local Free Clinic" is a no go for the name of our first full length album. On the other hand, I got a dilaudid shot and I no longer feel like I have the worst bladder infection of my life.
Kings cup with teenagers tonight
Done deal
I need something for rope burns and an inner ear infection. Separate incidents, FYI..
I make him buy me all the extremely expensive high end Mac cosmetics I desire. Wear it then let him cum on my face. I am fucking glamorous.
I always make inappropriate sexual decisions during the holidays
My apologies. I'll try not to let my dick interfere with official work duties in the future.
Randomize
