dude, you're never picky with who you hook up with, have a little dignity
nah man, chicks are like pokemon, gotta catch \'em all
every time i drive by the road she lives on, i scream in the car "i'm sorry i'm sleeping with your boyfriend!" makes me feel less whore-y.
i wokr up in ohio with no clothes. i think someone gave me ecstacy. can you come find me please it's cold.
so..some girl walked up to me on the porch last night. She came to apologize for peeing on our lawn a few days ago. I just looked at her and said it was ok, she wasn't the first.
You stuck the head of a rubber chicken you found in her house up your ass and then started running around her living room. Naked.
i want the original willy wonka imagination song to come on when i take a girl to my room
New handbag passed the ultimate test. The walk of shame. I had a bra, tights, skirt, shirt & sweater in it and you couldn't tell. yessss.
All I got from that conversation with the officer was "blah blah blah, you're disgusting, blah blah blah, $500 fine, blah blah blah, be in court Tuesday."
we probably should not get naked in my neighbor's garage again. just sayin
My hair is crimped, I am walking with a roadie, and my vibrator is in my purse. I feel sorry for tomorrow.
STDs are my biggest fear, besides whales. They're so fucking big.
But I don't wanna live with them bc I need to be able to walk around naked and sex on any surface guilt free.
Im at a south american orphan benefit auction drinking stoli in a coffee mug, this is what my life has become, thanks a lot community college
It stopped being casual for me when I waxed my vagina for you
I came twice AND he sent me home with edibles. I think he’s a keeper.
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