btw, your gf is going to want to talk to you today...and consequently you're probably not going to want to talk to me...just a heads up
so, not only did she give him head while i was asleep next to them, apparently, it was bad head...
Are you serious?
yeah... as often as she does that, you'd think she'd be good at it...
I just encountered the most annoying guy on the planet. I wanted to slap his milkshake out of his fat-boy hands while he was talking to me at the same time as slurping his liquid fat.
I love milkshakes.
Not the point.
im not picky. i just want someone whod go down on me while im writing my psych midterm paper. thats not a lot to ask.
You puked in the drive thru of Taco Bell. You puked as it was being handed to me. You managed to yell out "FIRE SAUCE" in between hurls.
but he gave me mouthwash after the bj. no ones ever done that for me before.
Is there really anything more beautiful than opening a fresh box of wine on a Friday afternoon?
I AM OVERLY HIGH AND OVERLY AWARE OF MY TONGUE IN MY MOUTH
I got laid and laid off at a conference in long beach all on the same day
Eh. They balance each other out
Only Tommy would bring a stripper pole to a bonfire
I mean, I Just Had Sex in 4 on her top 25 most played list. That's got to give you some indication
You don't have to have sex with both if us but I would like a little positive fucking regard.
It was great. Except he kept asking me to lick his butthole, I was like firm no
If you ever get divorced...would you call me??
why did you kick open the doors at church screaming whos ready to party?
Randomize
