your cum blends into my yellow sheets :/
why does the wii remote smell like your vag?
Ever had blood in your semen? I am guessing that's a problem.
And I was the only one who felt it was dangerous to set the tv and blender on the ledge of the hot tub
at 6am he came into my room and kicked me in the stomach. when i finally got up he was passed out in my hallway and the bathtub water was running
I had to feed him the pizza because he was too blazed to do it himself
I remember halftime. Then I woke up in Spain. I need a drink in order to process this.
I'm dressed in all sequins still at 9:30 in the morning and the worst part is that I actually still fit in in Vegas
It's not even close to Halloween but there is a girl in a nurses outfit. Twerk or twat.
Looks like I've become the Walter White of my PhD cohort.
Today I had sex and flossed at the same time. My relationship goals have been exceeded.
I'm not into beards but apparently my vagina is.
Just witnessed a man yell "gonna catch a slut!" at himself in the mirror while doing bicep curls at the gym.
I was...perplexed.
Sorry, i'm on a strict diet of vodka and regret
Unexpected pussy is the best kind. Never expected to get any from a stranger at my little brother's bar mitzvah.
Mazeltov!
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