we just got in the car and birthday sex is playing
that is a sign the 3 of us should have a threesome
we agree. completely
hey boys, thanks for all the pictures of your dick you took with my camera last night...they were really nice to stumble upon while reliving my night in the breakroom today at work
We did it and he fell asleep and I was bored so I decided to go back to the party...is that bad?
i woke up in his bed to a "teach your baby to read" infomercial. i pray to GOD that's not a sign
Thought I woke up to a girl giving me a handy. It was a male nurse inserting a catheter.
What do I have to do to get you laid? I talked to that girl with the ugly dog for 45 minutes trying to get you in, and all you said was "Steven Spielberg is my favorite director."
I woke him up and he was mumbling something about it being moist, or he peed himself but it was okay.
He got thrown out for leaning over the bar topless and pouring himself some beer while singing the james bond song
You need a sexual gate keeper
He wants to buy me a drink to apologize for sending me a pic of his dick. Welcome to my life.
I couldn't fall back asleep it was too bright so I just took my sports bra off and put it over my eyes
You hit a new plane of existence as we all watched in awe
So, I had a dream last night that involved you as an actual cloaked Captain America and a lot of weird sex, and I didn't hate it.
It's now officially the Christmas season, so I have no shame in drinking evernog.
If hypothetically I needed to puke on the bus... how would I go about doing this.
Randomize
