I was worried if he didn't show me his penis, he would kill himself
I finally got her to squirt but it wasnt a stream, it came out in the form of mist. I felt like I was in rainforest cafe.
Day 3. Will have to postpone job hunting by a month. May have blown out my knee. Was sunburned on Friday. Now look painted red. Still alive. All worth it.
i sat alone in my bed and ate pizza and garlic fingers. The icing on the cake was hearing your moans from down the hall.
It's one of the many facets of my drunken alter egos. I'm like substance abuse batman.
I brought him to this party even though we're not together anymore because we made a bet on who would have sex first, and it is a sausage fest up in here.
You called in. Quitter. You stayed at home naked drinking again didnt you.
Me and him getting it in is for special occasions only. Like Christmas and when they bring the McRib back.
So this tall girl jumped in our cab and I was like hey I have pics of u on my phone. It wasn't creepy at all
Calm the fuck down fatty, you can add creme de menthe to a vanilla shake any time of the year
My knees are skinned from sitting on someone's face on concrete
To shove my foot up anybody ass who tries to start shit. I'm not takin shit this year. That and I wanna volunteer somewhere to help make a difference
Will you skip merrily into hell with me?
chicken nuggets make me a bit homicidal
She moved all of her stuff out while we were gone. Shit in the toilet, and didn’t flush. So yeah it went well.
Randomize
