Dude. I haven't taken a shit in a week.
Try anal, it works wonders.
I woke up naked in my living room and my mom was next to me like we need to talk
I just watched a girl use a tall boy Coors as a rolling pin to make christmas cookies
Is it weird I want to fuck the cartoon chick from e-surance??
i would only ever fuck harry potter if he was on a broomstick.
There is a girl in bio drinking beer out of a starbucks cup with a straw
I want to frame my negative pregnancy test.
its mom's weekend..did we need to couger proof the apt?
Yes, that's a picture of my balls. It isn't however an answer to my question.
Gave a homeless guy 3 bucks earlier. Just saw him at the bar. He bought one beer and left. Happy to see my 3 dollars was well spent
My blowjobs put them in a state of relaxation similar to that of getting hit with a tranquilizer. The fear comes after the sex.
I am lonely and I want to touch your beard
I wish I could say this wasn't the first time I shit myself in a Piggly Wiggly.
I think I left my thong in your bed. Careful. It has the power to destroy the agitator on a washing machine
Do you know who changed all my phone contacts into characters from Harry Potter?
He Who Must Not Be Named.
Fuck you.
Randomize
