Sometimes I wonder if my friend studies mystic Christian theology because he's afraid to come out of the closet. Evidently, it's okay to talk about God coming inside you, but not to say the same about dudes.
Well, she's an atheist who is addicted to the Sims.
Who isn't?
How am I suppose to look him in the face when I know a commercial lasts longer than he does?
what's for breakfast?
Advil and throwup
I wish I could get plan B off e-bay so it would be a secret and cheap.
this is no time to have dignity 4/20 is coming
Ran into that hot funeral director in the bar two days after the wake. pretty sure we drunk made out.
Grandpa would have been proud
found used condoms and an omlet in my uggs. I'm disgusted but not surprised.
I'm not going to need your "it doesn't mean you're a slut" pep talk after all.
Just remember that she is a giant dick-sucking forehead and you are better than that.
malibu coconut giveth, and malibu coconut taketh away
it's 2:30 on a sunday and I just won a wine chugging contest. I'm never graduating.
I repeat the shot was ON FIRE. I am never going to a pirate bar again.
That's probably when I climbed a tree and told everyone I was an ornament
But idk if I cried about life then banged him or banged him and then cried. Chicken or the egg?
Randomize
