he stole me 6 pairs of frilly undies and proclaimed "your ass looks like a 5 in those. it'll be a 10 in these bad boys". every girl needs a gay bff.
Dude i thought about you literally the second after I came. This friendship is starting to cross some serious boundaries
Well, I just watched him puke into his pitcher at the bar, I doubt he cares about anything other than the fact that he needs a new beer.
Everything was good until you pulled the bartenders hair because she cut you off
no i do not regret standing at the wendys drive thu handing the employees mardi gra beads to get free chicken nuggets
Let's enter the circle of trust. Are we there yet? Ok. If I somehow hypothetically slept with Amandas ex husband...on a scale of one to ten...how bad is that?
drunk her ninja stole one of the pizzas as it arrived and hid all of the pieces in a cereal box in the fridge.Genius.
If you haven't seen a huge black man in tiny red snowflake shorts that barely cover his dick, then you don't know what I'm going through.
Ok cuz s'mores night just turned into pina colada after noon and it will be mas fun
She took one look at my hardon and said, "You have a dick built for anal."
That wasn't a compliment.
I think I'm done drinking. How did we end up partying at a frat house with my mom...
I just want to be like i dont know you but ive seen your penis & i like it
How the hell could he be confused. He had a naked girl running to him. I feel like he would enjoy that.
you can tell a lot about a person by the quality of their porn
I'm starting to think that Cosmic Steve ripped me off
Randomize
