I'd wear matching sweaters with you
They need to add a relationship status option on fb that says "having the baby of..."
i have a dinosaur tramp stamp
still wasted. at home depot . just threw up in one of the demo showers. not okay.
Recent Google searches: "babu kangarooz"... "why 2 tacos bell" and "is dinosaur in real life"
Hungover like ... in bed with the Brita pitcher and a straw, only opening one eye at a time.
I just remembered that I did shots out of a gay mans crotch. And there's someone saved in my phone as "Miranda knows where my car is"
it's a simple rule - pass out shirtless on the couch, become an airsoft target.
Dude, you like sabotaged my shower time by walking in and eating a snack pack on the toilet. That's messed up on levels that haven't even been created.
You know how I know she's ugly? 97% of her profile pics are flowers or animals. And what do we know about pretty people and the Internet?
I specifically remember rubbing my eyes thinking I could definitely go blind and I really like came to terms with it I was like ok my other senses will develop this is fine
If you get me a sex toy for Christmas everyone in my family will question our relationship.
Never let the horse trainer ride you, always ride the horse trainer. I have huge bruises on my thighs from his hip bones. That's how hard he rode me
test was negative. but nancy drew has yet to solve the case of the missing period.
short story short, i just screamed anal seepage in the middle of a diner.
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