My mom just got knocked over by a rollerblader. I'm trying not to laugh, bc my family looks pretty concerned
$1 pitcher night should be outlawed.
just found my calculator watch from 6th grade. the hipster transformation is complete
I'm going to fuck him so hard that his dick is going to fracture
Glad to see your being a lady about this
I mean, there was frosting being put on a tunafish sandwich. Pretty sure she knew we were high.
she worked me into her spring break cardio plan. im mondays and wednesdays.
Sorry I fell asleep again. I'm in the shower now. Door is unlocked. Condoms are in my desk. I want your game face on for when I get out.
it was all good until he screamed "for fraaannnceee" on his last thrust
You said dick pics aren't attractive
Random ones, from strangers, no. But a beautiful penis I know and love, absolutely :3
Running my fingers through my hair was like that scene in Patch Adams where the old lady got to swim in a pool of pasta. I love Molly.
I'm home, and it turns out she didn't get it all. still picking Oreos out of my pubes.
He showed me his scar from his appendix surgery. It was educational and fun....
Do you wanna do something, or just stare at each other and fantasize about death like we usually do
I'm at home, drunk, and I just called the guy I lost my virginity to and invited him to my wedding.. I've got to stop drinking by myself.
I don't mean to alarm you but are the strongest testicles in the family. I just learned I can lift 90 lb with my balls! Beat that.
Randomize
