brad dismisses pussy with prejudice
Weird. Haha. I guess taking advice from batman is a good idea.
Just stepped in shit. Not sure if its mine or the dog's. Get some of our friends on the way back from work and just have the intervention now. I will totally understand.
Why not. Its my b-day, you're in town, I'm in town, bars are in town, and alcohol is in town. I don't see anything not good about those things.
I was just laying in bed wondering if there's more important things in life than cheese stuffed pretzels.
I cried at the bouncer while saying I wished he was my father... They had no idea what to do with me.
She could makes a perfectt roast dinner drunk but she nearly sets the kitchen alight microwaving popcorn.
I just want nice things and good sex
I'm running on 2 hours of sleep. Just spent 6 minutes staring at the back of my hand thinking: "I don't really know this that well"
Vodka, rum, moonshine, I don't care, just bring like 5gallons.
Update: his apartment is apparently in the campus Christian community center. The fact that I fucked him on the couch in the lobby is officially my crowning life achievement.
I'm praying to the gods of sex we both get laid this weekend. Amen. Love you
You were so drunk Last night you asked for your glasses so you could read the directions on a band aid
My drunk is wearing off and im starting to feel like this dolphin tattoo was a bad idea.
dont know what thebfuxk is in rhat shit, but dont lemme have antmore
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