So is it bad that I'm using this 21 year old for his hot bod and utter naivety?
No its what 21 year olds are made for
what has become of my life if the best thing thats happened to me this week is that i discovered my cleavage as the best hiding spot ever for weed.
Every time I find out someone else from high school got pregnant accidentally, I want to declare victory over them.
Midget Michael Jackson impersonator dancing to Beat it in Penn Station almost caused me to miss my train. God, I
he screamed my twitter name while we were having sex.
We were walking home when he passed out, we left him. Just got a call from him, hes in a jail in Canada.
She said just put your tongue in there and don't linger. I have other things to do.
I think I might be drunk enough to cut my own hair
So my nipple piercings were only $20 because it's breast cancer awareness month. Fuck yes!
Liz is crying about burritos again.
Watched an eagle swoop down and eat a rabbit on my walk back from your place, literally too high to handle this right now
I straight up told your dad I've slept with a majority of your family
At least life still wants to fuck me.
I just opened a beer with a child's toy at a 5 year olds birthday....can you look up the next AA meeting?!!
was that you i just saw walking down the street in only one heel smoking a cig yelling "hello sexuals" to everyone who passed??
HELLLLLO SEXUAL BEING
Randomize
