it was like weight watchers had a halloween party.
I wish my dick could take responsibilities for his own actions
Fact: Telling a guy he has erectile dysfunction doesn't solve the problem.
I need to get the stench of sex and broken dreams out of my room
No, I stopped taking my meds because I like crazy me better
This wouldn't happen so much if fat girls would just stop being so damn easy.
The last thing I remember is pushing my way into the bathroom and dumping a 40 on him. We havent talked since.
You act as if I'm the first person to pee in the Taco Bell drive thru at 2 AM, I'm sure a lot worse things have happen in that drive thru than my urine.
i woke up in his neighbors pool house. Not sure how I got here but there is people swimming outside. how do I escape?
just fucking run.
If a girl called me a promiscuous philandering Casanova, should I say thank you?
Most definitely.
I think once you know a guy's chest measurements the stalking has gone too far..
I think I pulled a boob muscle during phone sex
somehow getting chased by a bulldozer was NOT on my to-do list for today. just saying
Guy from the bar last night left his number on my waterbill on the counter, at the bottom he put don't forget I can hook you up at Little Caesars I work their part time.
You sure know how to pick em.
I feel like I purchased a one way ticket to hell last night and its non refundable.
Randomize
