Maybe I lied like you did about your herpes.
I am so horny I keep driving over the rumble strips... best half hour ever.
He's sitting on the floor holding his bracket and crying, literally crying... he just keeps saying "Kansas how could you?" over and over
The little penguins are speaking with a hispanic accent. I dont know how to feel about it. Geographically speaking, this cant be possibly. This isnt cool.
Apparently "he pulled out..mostly" is not a valid reason for thinking there's no way i can be pregnant to the nurses at the student health center.
All I remember from last night is petting the broom with my feet and feeling like I was standing on a horses head
Got robbed by knifepoint. Then got sympathy Bj. I might have to walk down Austin ave drunk every weekend
Also, turning on the light this morning was a 3 step process. Way too hungover.
I don't even see the point of going over to his place dressed anymore.
I hope you fall on your chin.
Jealousy makes you ugly.
The best part of that night wasn't even the sex, it was listening to her explain to her boyfriend why she was naked in her room while I hid in her closet.
You don't know how emotionally damaged I am from crashing into that park maintenance van. I'll never ride a bike because of it.
Rule travel - in 2s or put an ankle monitor on me, and maybe a shock collar.
Let's try finding a bar where there aren't people who want to hang me from a tree by my nutsack
Note to self:A blacklight toga party at a frat house is a bad idea. Some things cannot be unseen
I am a taco. I am also really high.
I've always seen you more as a chimichanga.
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