Soo....this goes on the list of odd coincidences. My gyno calls me while I'm going at it, leaves me a message. I check it later... thank God I tested negative.
So I'm banging this nun...
Isn't that how all good stories start? I like it already...
I almost masterbated to the avatar love scene ha it was so hot
is this the sara with the beer cane?
we were sitting in the bathtub when she came in with her grandpas cane adn beat us until lindsay passed out
1 in 5 deaths i nrussia is alcohol related. GO MOTHERLAND
Yo. I have a shitload of cardboard. We have to build a smoke hut in the smoke room with a tunnel connected to a cat house. This way the kitty can join us whenever she pleases
What does puking wasabi feel like?
Like snorting cocaine backwards.
Just text the random number in my iphone notes that was entered at 1am. Should be interesting.
So do you know how we found out he was engaged?
An Amber Alert?
Lol I wish they went straight to your cock then shot out into my mouth like a cock nacho dispenser
Got really high to see my fist college experience unfold. Too high to find my classroom but I found the McDonald's down the street
Def don't remember taking those pics I sent you...but it looks like I was in a car? Shit. Looks like my Uber passenger rating just went up exponentially.
I seriously just had to blow dry my thong.
I think I'm taking after my dog, I just want to hump everything
Randomize