All I remember is yelling at him to admit he liked Bon Jovi, then accusing him of giving love a bad name.
finally achieved: got laid in the religion section of borders. thought you should know.
you took him to the bathroom with you to pee and told him he had to hold your hand..but he couldn't turn on the lights because you didnt want him to hear you peeing..and still got laid. i wish i had your life.
I'm terrified to sleep next to her. Of course the sex will be fuckng awesome.
We turned everything surrounding BP and the oil leak into a "that's what she said" drinking game. We've been drunk for a month
We were fucking at break-dick speeds.
I'm in this weird masturbatory haze making onion rings. If you want to come over we can eat these suckers and play TF2.
Why don't we hang out more often?
The best part about passing out on the floor was the fact that when I pissed myself, I didn't piss the bed again.
This family outing has commenced with me throwing up in an apple orchard
I'm ready to sell my soul to the strip club tonight
This night could easily degenerate into a drunken haze of strippers and gambling, but I need a support network.
I'm fucking camped out by the bathrooms. I think the poopatrator is in there. Wtf is my life
Almost an end to the saga.
I wanted to give everyone gifts as they left the house... So when your wondering where most of the christmas ornaments are I'm really sorry.
Lesson Learned: It's not a party until someone pisses their pants.
I just wanna go home jackoff, eat chicken fingers, drink beer, play halo and go to bed. I'm sick of this shitty school, the shitty kids and having to fucking teach them.
Randomize
