me and my sister are feeding my dog poprocks. this is proof you don't need a lot of money to have fun.
I told him to go down on me and when he did he started crying!! I asked him why and he said my vag looked just like his ex girlfriends!!!
i woke up to find out i shared my bed with a full, open can of natty light last night and didnt spill it. then i drank it for breakfast.
it is 7:54 and i am surrounded by drunk old people. drunk enough that my grandmother and her friend just compared boobs. as in, shirts off, bras coming down. save me.
Just realized I'm marrying a man that's never gone down on me. What happened to my priorities?
this is a reminder to untag myself in the picture of me flashing the photographer in the morning.
I was having the most awesome dream about onion rings and you hit me and told me to stop touching you...WTF?
Just burnt my nuts with a cigarette. Don't ask. I hate life.
It's Been clinically proven that people who have sex 6 or more times per week are happier than those who don't. Just and FYI. For your mental health. From a soon so be psychologist. Who is drunk.
Packing for college has become a game of where did I hide my sex toys.
She can't even plan ahead to have toilet paper for her next shit
HELL YEAH TIME TO KICK THE CHILDREN
You can be responsible and still be on that ho life
i don't care if you are my best friend. does not give you the right to describe how well my sister gives blowjobs.
how about your cousin?
Was I just dreaming, or was there a corpse at work last night?
She was just sleeping.
Is it bad that I'm kind of disappointed by that?
Randomize
