We made it safely. Thanks for the call though.
Great. Don't do shady things like that ok?
But he was like 75 and lives right near mom and dad. Not a threat at all.
too bad they don't have a 'people you may be able to do' thing on facebook. it would save me a lot of fucking time.
I found the perfect eye liner, it passed the blow job test, no smudging!!
You'd be surprised at the stuff my vagina tells my brain to say
It was awkward at first he now knows I fucked his little brother, they were both there. then the tequila kicked in and everything was fine.
STOP LICKING HIS MUSTACHE
pain. pain everywhere. this is why throwing yourself at concrete is a bad idea.
"DO YOU LIKE FLYING KITES" WORKED AS A PICKUP LINE. SUCK IT.
I was grinding on him when mosquitoes starting biting us and ruined every damn thing. I just wanted to fuck on a slide under the stars. It's every girls dream.
I bought 10 disposable adhesive bras and duct tape. If Home Depot can't help my breasts defy gravity, nothing will...
LMAO
All I've had to eat today are potatoes...and by that I mean vodka and chips
Im sorry you'll never get the feeling of closeness when you go to pee outside and you realize you're peeing right where someone else just peed
My New Years resolution is to not hook up with random guys.
Mine is to not hook up with anyone who has a kid.
Just stole my moms weed, left a note saying sorry.. Hope she isn't mad.
I took advantage of the fact that my mentee had to go to the bathroom to throw up in the other stall. I'm going to hell for being hungover at an elementary school.
Randomize
