i'm all for saving the environment, but when we get into the shower to fuck, he shouldn't flip his shower hourglass timer
so my car got towed last night. I didnt know it cost 118 dollars to have a college experience
your boyfriend is drunk and yelling to the bar that he loves his cats
Why's my alcoholism being used to prove a point?
somedays, I wish the drugs you give me would convince me they were a bad idea preingestion.
where's the fun in that?
She just kept introducing me to people by telling them which of their friends I've fucked
Never let a one night stand shower at your place. My razor, lotion, and brush disappeared. #girlcode
Anyways, he came over at 3:30 am and ate me out while I ate pizza on the counter
You're breaking my sexual little heart
Babe, holding my hair while i blow you doesn't count as being romantic
is it just me or does "lol" kill any sort of vibe while sexting?
so my dads pretending to use the snow blower and theres absolutley no snow one the ground.... someone should really lock our liqour cabinet
I gave her the last ten dollars to my name and bitch comes back with a six pack of bud light and a pack of sour patch kids
We were totally high while having sex, I told him fast or slow, just follow your balls. That was a show stopper.
Never in my life did I expect to see Eric's mom in a cheerleader outfit along with other women
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