Don't worry I'll hold the wheel while you cum
Someone left a shot of disaronno in a champagne glass here this morning... flip a coin?
I take back everything bad I said about that song party in the usa. There's just something about seeing a cross dresser lipsing it that makes a song sooo much better.
I may have just googled Muppet Treasure Island drinking game
She just left after she spent the past 2.5 hours fuckin the shit out of me. I'll put that in the logbook as a cross country
Next guy we share better have a little more dignity than that
Let me clarify that those tears were for losing my fuck buddy and his penis, not to the fact that he decided he wanted an actual relationship with feelings.
Im calling him
was mistake calling. If you drunk dial someone you deserve to choke on a tubesock. Take the advice. Always remember
no one was sober enough to set up jenga so we just threw the pieces at the last person to drink
We are keeping it ultra classy drinking 40s and playing croquet with 90s rap blasting in the back ground
he looked at me and said 'happiness is a warm blanket' then stole my vodka.
all i tweeted was "emergency this is not a drill" and he immediately texted me asking if this was a subtle booty call…it was
My liver is fucking rocky. Get knocked down 7 times and gets up 8. World champ
We kind of crashed their funeral party. Oops.
If you're signed up as "sober sister" can you do cocaine or nah
Randomize
