i am fully taking advantage of taking advantage of him
we had to stop you from eating moldy cake.. twice.
he said i looked like a lion with slutty lingerie on .
He rubs his penis on back when he think I'm sleeping
i still can't believe we survived that barcrawl. the third bar had bullet holes and we still went in.
What was she thinking? I'm not in the business of charity fucks anymore.
just peed in rthe mens room but seranaeded them with adelle the whole timee so they didnt mind
Also one of my neighbors is blasting "pumped up kicks" and possibly butchering some chickens
Omg have I shown you my skeezy ex fiancée?
The other one.
Dude my body has gone into shock from not eating frozen pizza and chips. I've been shitting like Richard Simmons after a night out of twerking in a corn field
Also. After puking outside of the bar last night, some guy (who saw me puking) said I looked like Jennifer Lawrence, called me J Law, got my number and is now texting me. Who knew puking and rallying would do me any good
Basically one minute I'm sucking on her nipples and then 45 mins later we're at work and she's my boss.
Guy pissing in the corner in downtown Boston as his girlfriend is covering him up, yelling "relationship goals"
Completely unrelated and mildly related, a guy I hooked up with last year in a threeway died, his obit photo was his Grindr photo
QUIT BEING A BITCH, DRINK SOME PEPTO, AND PUKE ON OUR FOES
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