Pretty people don't get stds, I knew it
They keep asking what you are doing. I told them to quit calling her "what."
I have before 2 am pics and after 2am pics, which do you want to see first?
I had it in my eyebrows, my bangs, under one eye, and across both cheeks. Congratulations on the successful and elusive warpaint cumshot.
There were 4 naked women demanding my presence. Of COURSE I got into the pool.
Come find me please? Im in a ditch.
That doesn't help me much...
I'm right under the moon!
i knew you were okay when you wanted to eat in the ambulance
Maid of honor is brides sister and single. Likes lemondrops. You're welcome.
I'm single as of 11 minutes ago. I was the chick who drunkenly tried to climb into bed with you 2 weeks ago. Wanna make this happen?
I'm concerned I'll look like a hooker on new years eve in this outfit
There are different standards on new years eve. To look like a hooker you literally need to be giving a guy head on the street while he's handing you cash.
the remote is under the fat chick passed out on the couch. Good luck .. and may god have mercy on your soul.
Oh, and I'm only keeping her around till spring. Doing the hunt for cunt is too tough in 12" of snow.
Omg. I'm making you a chocolate and "herb" birthday cake and using joints for candles. I'm gunna need moms help with this!
Then his buddy called and said "my car broke down, I need a ride. If I'm not home by midnight they'll extend my house arrest." And I knew it was time to leave.
i dunno dude, he took his shirt off and is rubbing jello shots on himself. i think he's done
Randomize
