i just found a plastic monkey in my sweatshirt pocket
Umm I had a plastic mermaid in my pants......
Really
You win
And, I saw Emily's panties. How? She doesn't sit like a lady.
This guy just walked into class and first thing he did was grab the garbage can, walk to his desk and say "just in case"
Just think about it this way, every time you work Sunday, it's another $75 and that equals another hooker when we go to Amsterdam.
its not like she's the last girl on the planet with symmetrical breasts and great skin
Yep and i guess after he came back from that he sat down next to me and i just put my hand right on his penis just casually like it was his leg
it was a frathouse cornucopia of foul mixed drinks and "sangria", which im convinced was blood and pcp
Did not foresee holding down food at work today to be a struggle today
I can't turn off my feet"
I feel like that's something that he should've asked me over dinner..... instead of with his hand down my pants? maybe not
I asked her if she could eat some Doritos so when we made out it would taste awesome
I need time to grow out my leg hair and not be sad anymore
well I got an eye infection from a stripper motorboating me but overall it was a great weekend
The only time we had a decent conversation was when he was on acid, and, like, that's not a great start to a relationship.
Accidentally searched up "pizza pasties" instead of "pizza pastries". I was not disappointed.
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