how was that guy you hooked up with?
i used to think blowing a .05 was a good thing
I fear hooking up with people who have white pillowcases because my guyliner always smears on it and i either have to A. sneak out in the night or B. wash it and see them again
what age do we have to be before we can stop fucking guys on the first date?
If it makes you feel better, I doubt anything could survive in your uterus.
Still can't believe they give people like us a drivers license and college degree.
i think every time you texted me i responded with 'bathroom floor'
He passed out. Woke up long enough to declare himself "the sauce boss" and then bit me in the face.
I dont know, but the way you were flopping around and gurgling made me scared that you were actually drowning in the carpet.
I think I just snorted head and shoulders by mistake.
I woke up this morning with a half eaten bagel and an empty pack of imitation crab meat in my bed. This is going to be my response to pick up lines now.
Got promoted and on my way out the door was informed that my beard makes my face perfect for riding. Today is gonna be a good day.
Would you accept a fantastic blowjob as payment?
why do guys have to express their feelings when they know your seeing someone else ? I fucked him anyways to make him feel better , and to know what he's missing.
Sooo does anyone wanna tell me why I threw up a cigarette this morning?
OMG YOU DID TO?!
We should write a country song: “Blacked Out on a Sunday”
Randomize
