Are you missing anything? I found a wedding ring in my bed this morning.....
i have absolutely no control over my now miserable and whore-ish lifestyle.
Who is John, and why is his named carved into our toilet?
Now I have to picture Dave Letterman having sex with all these women. Im the real victim.
It's a good thing i didn't end up pregnant...i would have had to figure out his last name.
He thought the strainer was a giant bowl to puke in.
Why is there bacon braided in my hair
Sincerely would love to tap that, on a mountain with the wind blowing on your pubes .
At least I look tastefully trashed. My nipples are hidden and I'm standing up.
Hey my dad gave me life the least I can do is take him chicken strips and a pack of marlboros.
But like now I know, men who are vegetarians are significantly worse in bed.
my only goal for the semester is never go to my wednesday class sober
While having sex, a German accent isn't sexy.
"The More You Know"
Just fyi i'm now butt naked in a steam room smoking a bong in some guys house. i sense the weed penetrating my pores.
you were making out with a girl because you told her you were part of Nsync
Randomize
