I am at a 420 party and i just told a girl "hey, less not getting donuts, more getting donuts"(1-855): and did she get any doughnuts?
No. I am devastated
we literally spent four hours convincing you that all 5 of your toes were there. no more everclear on a tuesday.
The preggo girl brought her pet chipmunk to class today. fyi.
He told me he breastfed 'til he was six. That explains the obsession with me getting fake tits. Is it a red flag?
also bought condoms to give away to people who look like they're about to make a bad halloween decision. I'm like a fairy.
Apparently I told the girl smoking was terrible for her, and then requested it in my mouth.
I wish him all the best and hope one day he can afford the surgery to remove his head from his ass
Getting your clit pierced is not something you want to trust to a crazy girl with an ice cube, some vodka, and a sewing needle. Trust me. I learned that the hard way.
also my alarm just went off. I am always amused at what time drunk me decides to wake up.
my paper on vitamins just turned into a 2 hour tangent google search on what i should buy to best cure a hangover. I need to stop getting high before homework
Don't act like you're a victim to marijuana
That's brilliant but could get us arrested. Give me shots until I shout LET'S DO THIS
I need to stop waking up with no pants on.
what happened this time
I dont know everyone was gone and there was a bird in the room
Maybe you should slow down tonight...
KINGS DON'T NEED ADVICE FROM LITTLE HORN-BILLS FOR A START
is 250 jello shots considered an open container?
Randomize
