Mom and Dad are dead. Trust fund
Me= Watching Ferngully. My neighbor= Having really loud sex including multiple orgasms
Oh God
I know, but the worst part is I'm not really sure which I'd rather be doing. Feel free to re-evaluate our friendship
he's 24. he finally texted me instead of using facebook chat. baby steps.
I find it funny that "sexual harassment" contains the phrase "ass sex". Let me know what your thoughts are on the matter.
I'm so hungover, I actually considered rolling down the stairs to avoid walking.
Are we responsible for the snowmen doing it doggy-style in my front yard?
Just stole a goat. Bringing it to your house to cock block. Blame the goat not me.
Jen's arm is stuck between a wall and her bed. She's naked and needs someone to go help her.
I'm going to shower the piss off me now. I feel like I was in an R. Kelly dream.
I'm sorry but you're choosing a girl that faked a pregnancy when you wouldn't return her calls over a more attractive sane girl who you begged for a chance with last week? God you're a loser.
Lmfao a voicemail screaming about you partying with your tits out and a text at 3 am saying you went too crazy... this should be a good one
I sent you a snap of me in the bath, and you sent me a snap of a taco. An actual taco.
Don't blame me. My vagina leads me astray.
He said that he made a girl squirt to the ceiling and I got curious
I'm just concerned as to why his penis is two different colors.
Randomize
