I'm sorry my penis didn't work
This girl added me on fb and has all these pics of her kissing her little brother saying i will love you forever. I'm creeped out.
maybe it's her son
thats not any better.
vodka and carrot juice, if im gonna drink i at least got my 8 servings of vegetable
I woke up from my nap, looked out my window, and saw about bout 6 people get tasered in less than 20 seconds.....could someone please tell me what's going on.
Stealing vibrators from Walmart together was when I realized you'd be my Maid of Honor.
If you're not washing nut sweat off of your forehead this morning I'm disappointed in you
Only Tommy would bring a stripper pole to a bonfire
Someone came in the potted fern
I truly wish I could say I pulled my groin straddling our cab driver but unfortunately I cannot
too bad burritos don't cuddle back
Amazon is not showing any promising results for penis tree toppers and I am genuinely surprised. Clearly this is a market that needs to be addressed.
He called out my ex's name during sex.
Alex is a pretty common unisex name.
It was the same Alex. I asked.
What happened to you last night?
SO. MANY. SHOTS.
You tried to lick the lightbulb and fell off of the chair onto my wife and gave her a concussion. Did i mention you were naked?
Dude. I just got a visual of u climbing over a bathroom stall to save my life.
Randomize
