the new term for farting is butt boxing.
I need to stop researching the drugs I do on Wikipedia. The parts about abuse and dependency hit too close to home
spending the week with her family was quite possibly the longest ive ever gone without having a boner
his dick got so hard in his pants and it broke his zipper
I decided to have standards now that i've graduated. No guys without a bed frame.
Theres dried jager, barbecue sauce and frie remnants all over my front seat.
In case you were unaware playing with rabbits on ecstasy is the greatest thing ever. I feel like I'm ODing on adorable right now.
will you please stage a drunk girl intervention and tell him that his chain is severely harming his chances of getting laid tonight?
I know it I should, but it's kinda nice. It's smells like unbridled enthusiasm and copious amounts of melt your face off sex.
he told me to take care of him and then he asked me to walk him to his hotel. I already have a pussy. I don't need another one
He was making a joke about signing my name on this piece of paper. He has a whole bucket filled with names on pieces of paper. I think thats how he keeps count.
i love it when bitches who pick on you in high school get fat. thank you facebook you have made my day.
Of all the kinds of relationships I've had in my life, I'd have to say, lab-partner-with-benefits takes the fuckin cake
Is it weird to befriend your older alcoholic landlords?
I am listening to my ipod while i puke, this is most entertaining hangover i have ever had.
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