I wanna crawl in your skin and have dreams about Bobby Kennedy tonight.
You can't hide fat with big sunglasses.
Have you ever been so weak from sleep you couldn't push your poo out?
I'm returning our mountain of beer cans, while wearing a Budweiser sweatshirt. i don't look like an alcoholic.
Before we started fucking, he laid me on the bed, and asked my what my sleep number was, so that i would be "comfy"
He gave me a book last time I slept there. Im beginning to feel like a really weird hooker. Like instead of money he gives me random shit he has lying around. like hamburger buns
I would like to apologize for making you the target of my "I wish head hair grew as fast as Pubes speech" the other night
its been so long even thinking about having a dick inside me makes me sore
Oh wait looks like my cousin is getting deported THERE'S HOPE FOR THIS CHRISTMAS YET
How do you feel? I threw up in a towel. Also, a lot of other things.
How bout we save the 40s for when we FINISH the project this time..
They're letting me in by good graces, I can't show up with a fist full of dildos
I told him that we shouldn't complicate things. He responded with a dick pic.
The last thing I remember was them slipping shots into my beer bong, and me being happy about it
are you comparing glasses to pregnancy
Randomize
