please tell me you remember why "7 days" is written above my bed in red marker
I've got 15 minutes to eat dinner and drink a 40. Four years of college has all been training for this moment.
Dude you need to stop whoring out my boobs. They are for emergencies only.
This is the prime rib incident all over again
Cause your way of greeting people at the club was grabbing a tit and jiggling it while yelling a name, which usually wasn't theirs, and guys weren't safe either.
It probably isn't a good idea to go home with last night's hookup's brother. And sister.
Probably is probably an understatement.
Great. Now I'm always going to be the roommate that boned a guy with a third nipple.
If it meant we had chicks like that every weekend I would gay marry the shit out of you dude
I'm sorry but you're choosing a girl that faked a pregnancy when you wouldn't return her calls over a more attractive sane girl who you begged for a chance with last week? God you're a loser.
Just say the word and u can be elbow deep in this glorious rack
This is why I love you...
I told her I was dressed as a gag reflex judge.....she won, literally hands down.
I snapchatted him nudes and he didn't screenshot a single one of them because he's a gentleman.
I am going to go back to drinking and listneing to Hanson now. Maybe crying. Or perhaps Full House reruns
A guy at my table is reading a magazine called "Cheese Connoisseur"
Look. All I'm saying is that if the USWNT can win a shit ton of medals and have two gay love stories with happy endings, there's still hope in this world
Randomize
