The girl I brought home was really impressed with the pile of blow you were doing while watching "Intervention."
i've been called drunk 4 times today and it's only 3pm
three guys just busted into my bio lecture, yelled "happy st. patrick's day!", downed jagerbombs, and left.
I wasn't sure if "you're even prettier in the dark" was a compliment. Hmm.
Either he was jacking off or having a seizure next to me in bed. Either way, I was too lazy to help.
In the UK. Bar special, every drink costs a pound. I'm two shots away from being deported. God save the queen.
I'm at the bar alone. Is this how you feel?
We found her on the balcony debating if it was easier to jump or throw up. Neither decision would not have been good for the 91 year old below us.
Jesus himself couldn't make a better sandwich
I immediately retract my statement involving hylecopters being allowed to blow up sharks out of the water.... The idea if it is super incredible but ultimately it would be cruel and unessesary
do you think your dog feels awkward being in the background of your nudes?
he called me 'mate' and i had to remind him that you dont call people mate who continously make your dick hard
You can tell by the way he cuddles that he's got mommy issues
How is there a hawk inside this house? More importantly how the hell is he handling it without any gear?
Legit hope my Trump humping Brother dies of this shit so I can stop pretending to still love him.
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