fine then we can just have courtesy sex i definetly won't like it
I feel like ignoring a facebook event is a lot like a pocket-veto. The only difference is instead of opposing legislation, I don't want to go to your sketchy party.
i could't wear that belt anymore, it was gonna make me keep shitting for the rest of the night
The pick up line I used was "Grab my sack, you'll be back." Then I winked at her.
She keeps referring to it as an "us" Either she is seriously mistaken on what fuck buddies are or she learned another meaning of the word "us"
got extra credit for showing up to class before a holiday. it hit me 5 minutes later that she meant easter....
I'd rather make snow angels in a pool of elephant shit.than sleep with him.
So I found out me and this guy I was drinking beer with tonight both got lactated on by the same stripper. We're milk brothers.
well i maturbated this morning, which means the best part of my day has already happened.
the only thing she has in her apt so far is toilet paper and shot glasses. you can see where the priorities lie.
He's being awfully beer snobby for a guy who ordered salad
in fetal position in his closet not sure if he knows im here... hugging his spongebob cake pan i stole.... now please come find me..
I have to close one eye, because I don't wanna see two movies, I only want to see one.
When you're as high as I am right now brushing your teeth is both magical and fucking terrifying
He ate me out in a limo while we were driving home. I love bars being open again!
Randomize
